I love this piece of poetry,
New Vows.
From this day forth to unhold,
to see the nothing in ringed gold,
uncare for you when you are old.
New vows you make me swear to keep-
not ever wake with you, or sleep,
or your body with my own worship;
This living hand slipped from your glove,
These lips sip never from our loving cup,
I may not cherish, kiss; unhave, unlove...
And all my worthless worldly goods to unendow...
And who here present upon whom I call...
Carol Ann Duffy
Monday, 26 April 2010
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Uncle John
My lovely Uncle John died on Friday. He will be really sadly missed by all that knew him. Ultimately it was his decision to stop taking his medications and refuse treatment from the hospital. He had not been ill for long so his sudden deterioration is still quite shocking. Anyway i'd rather tell you about the man in life. My favourite story about him was in his younger married days, him and my Aunt went to a christening which ended up as an all day affair with friends and family returning to the proud parents home for more refreshments and nibbles. As the party continued the adoring adults were sat round the living room with the subject of the christening in a wee bouncy seat in the middle of the floor. My Uncle John who enjoyed a beer or two began to feel slightly queasy and unsteadily swayed to his feet, trying to make it to the bathroom. He didn't make it however and pitched forward, vomiting all over the baby! My Aunt, registering the shocked faces all around, stood up and walked out completely mortified!
Another story which brings a fond smile to my lips is one Sunday afternoon, my Aunt cooking in the kitchen whilst my Uncle watched the old firm game. An advid rangers fan, returning from getting a beer out the fridge, Rangers scored causing my uncle to jump up in celebration. Unfortunately he was midway through the connecting arch between the livingroom and dining room and smashed his head against the top of the archway. My aunt ran out of the kitchen rolling-pin in hand shouting 'you stupid bastard!' as my cousin ran down the stairs to see my uncle blood puring down his face and my aunt shouting and waving a rolling-pin about. My cousin thought my aunt had finally had enough and whacked my uncle about the head.
Goodbye Uncle John, slanithe!
Another story which brings a fond smile to my lips is one Sunday afternoon, my Aunt cooking in the kitchen whilst my Uncle watched the old firm game. An advid rangers fan, returning from getting a beer out the fridge, Rangers scored causing my uncle to jump up in celebration. Unfortunately he was midway through the connecting arch between the livingroom and dining room and smashed his head against the top of the archway. My aunt ran out of the kitchen rolling-pin in hand shouting 'you stupid bastard!' as my cousin ran down the stairs to see my uncle blood puring down his face and my aunt shouting and waving a rolling-pin about. My cousin thought my aunt had finally had enough and whacked my uncle about the head.
Goodbye Uncle John, slanithe!
Saturday, 27 March 2010
C'mon join the party!
This is a very quick blog to sing the praises of Twitter and is especailly for @diaryofaledger and his giant friend (care to share his numbner with me ;-)?). Twitter for me is a great way to interact with people from all over the world. Over a year on I have 'met' people whom I consider to be friends. I really don't follow many celebs or even people whom I know in the real world. There are a few people that I am friends with on there and we now keep in touch more regularly as a result, but really when Gray was doing his twitterthon i stumbled into a great bunch of people who all interacted with each other with alarming regularity. Slowly I got accepted into the gang and gained more followers and began to interact with more and more people. I live alone so twitter is a great way to slag off or praise TV you are always garanteed that someone else will be watching the same thing. Also its a great place to seek advice on IT or when you new cat won't come down from the top of the cupboards! I really love being on twitter and knowing that there is always someone you can swap some casual banter with and have serious discussions about anything! It never ceases to amaze me either that people are touching and thoughtful and will send you an @reply that really cheers you up and tells you that there are good people in the world!
So come on what have you got to lose? Try it, give it some time, and when you get into it you too will be sucked in my friend!
So come on what have you got to lose? Try it, give it some time, and when you get into it you too will be sucked in my friend!
Friday, 12 March 2010
Feline friend
So it looks like I’m getting a cat. I seemed to have acquired this poor feline via my friend who has two Persian cats herself. Her friend, the cat owner, has a small child under 3 and is about to deliver twins in the next few weeks, living in a small flat in a busy city centre. I thought it was the least I could do, I mean I’m hardly going to offer to look after any of the children am I?
I have always thought about getting a cat. I like them, they appeal to me, their independence, aloofness and ability to sleep 24/7. The right time never really came about. However this seems right, it has already been trained doesn’t wreck the furniture, doesn’t even go up on the furniture! Toilets outside although has a tray ‘just in case’ but rarely uses it. Happy to be out roaming all day or left on his perch sleeping all day. Sounds like the ideal house mate to me. It’ll be nice to come home from a long day at work and find someone waiting for me and genuinely pleased to see me (even if it is just ‘cause it knows it’ll get fed).
I have always thought about getting a cat. I like them, they appeal to me, their independence, aloofness and ability to sleep 24/7. The right time never really came about. However this seems right, it has already been trained doesn’t wreck the furniture, doesn’t even go up on the furniture! Toilets outside although has a tray ‘just in case’ but rarely uses it. Happy to be out roaming all day or left on his perch sleeping all day. Sounds like the ideal house mate to me. It’ll be nice to come home from a long day at work and find someone waiting for me and genuinely pleased to see me (even if it is just ‘cause it knows it’ll get fed).
So I enter a period of great unrest…..
My sister and brother-in-law are currently expecting their first baby, as I type it is 3 days past its due date. This make me feel obviously very excited but more than that, rather selfishly I cannot help but think that it is the end of an era. My sister and I are very close. We live relatively near one another and spend a good deal of time together. It’s what we do when we spend time together that is probably now changed for good. Weekends would see us eating a late breakfast together in the greasy spoon, along the road from my flat. Spending hours over coffee and cake catching up on all our news. Meeting for lunch in the city and time disappearing along with the wine….
Now my sister’s priorities have changed forever. My mum and Dad are thrilled at the prospect of becoming Grandparents and have thrown themselves into buying clothes and blankets with great gusto. I spent the other Sunday at my parents for lunch; my sister and her husband were there too. Chat was almost exclusively about the baby and plans for the summer and greater future. I sat there thinking ‘what about me?’ I know, I’m 30 and I need to get a grip but still I couldn’t help it. I don’t know what my future is. I have no plans for my summer. I’m not sure I’ll even have a job come July.
I’m sure when the baby comes I’ll be swept up in all the love along with the rest of my family and I’ll be a great pank (professional auntie no kids!) who I’m sure will spend needless amounts on money on clothes, toys and ludicrous khiels baby toiletries. It is the sense that the family is moving on and I am not, that has me feeling so uneasy. My sister’s happiness, excitement and dread at this new chapter in her life highlights that I have no such feelings or events in mine. Please don’t misunderstand I am not looking to become a mother, not just now and maybe not ever, but as my family plan together and get excited together, it signifies that I am alone and when I leave them all after a nice dinner I go home to my flat alone. I worry about my career and renewal of my contract, my bills and mortgage payments, my summer and holidays, my friends and their kids, my plans for the future and I do it alone.
Now my sister’s priorities have changed forever. My mum and Dad are thrilled at the prospect of becoming Grandparents and have thrown themselves into buying clothes and blankets with great gusto. I spent the other Sunday at my parents for lunch; my sister and her husband were there too. Chat was almost exclusively about the baby and plans for the summer and greater future. I sat there thinking ‘what about me?’ I know, I’m 30 and I need to get a grip but still I couldn’t help it. I don’t know what my future is. I have no plans for my summer. I’m not sure I’ll even have a job come July.
I’m sure when the baby comes I’ll be swept up in all the love along with the rest of my family and I’ll be a great pank (professional auntie no kids!) who I’m sure will spend needless amounts on money on clothes, toys and ludicrous khiels baby toiletries. It is the sense that the family is moving on and I am not, that has me feeling so uneasy. My sister’s happiness, excitement and dread at this new chapter in her life highlights that I have no such feelings or events in mine. Please don’t misunderstand I am not looking to become a mother, not just now and maybe not ever, but as my family plan together and get excited together, it signifies that I am alone and when I leave them all after a nice dinner I go home to my flat alone. I worry about my career and renewal of my contract, my bills and mortgage payments, my summer and holidays, my friends and their kids, my plans for the future and I do it alone.
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Has anyone seen a life pass by?
Sorry it has been a while since I last put fingers to keyboard for that my apologies....
There has been a number of good reasons for my protracted absence. Primarily my new job. I started my new job in early December, in a completely different role from all my previous positions.
I arrived on my first day wracked with nerves and shell shocked, following a few weeks out of work the early rise was somewhat shocking!
I was over an hour early and had a nervous sit in the car with a coffee and muffin, kept company and buoyed up by messages of support from my lovely twitter friends. Time passed and soon I was being ushered into my boss's room for an induction chat. I was handed a full diary and introduced to numerous new faces and pointed in the direction of my office.
I sat in my office in blind panic thinking 'how on earth did I get here? What am I going to do? What if I can't do the job?'. Time passed and I worked my way through the scheduled meetings and tried to remember all the names and responsibilities. I would still swing to blind panic over my ability to do the job but mostly I thought 'I can do this!'
And do you know what? I CAN do it, I AM doing it and I'm really enjoying it. It is a complete departure from anything that I have done in the past but I feel that I am actually achieving something. For the first time in a long time my work life balance is good, I am satisfied with my work and what I do is worthwhile, people actually benefit from the work that I am putting in.
There is one small fly in the ointment, I am only on a temporary 6 month contract. As a project manager I guess this is quite common once a project is finished then the project manager becomes surplus to requirements. However, my boss seems keen for me to link in with other areas of interest, to move on to, or develope other projects, so hopefully, things going well, I may become a permanent project manager working on different areas of interest. It is lovely and refreshing to feel supported by my manager and to believe that she really does have my best interests at heart and really IS trying to get me a permanent position. I'll keep you posted!
Now I did mention that I was happy with my work life balance and I am. No longer am I lying awake at night with reports and tasks running through my mind. Or returning home late after a torturous drive back from the other side of Scotland to then start my paper work. However, now I find myself with free evenings, long forgotten are the pilates classes, the book group, the 10K training and all the other pursuits I used to devote my time to before I lost myself in my 'career'.
Slowly I shall once again join a book group, find good pilates and aerobics classes and I may even compete in the ladies 10K in May. So here I go in search of my life, wish me luck!
I will of course, keep you posted!
There has been a number of good reasons for my protracted absence. Primarily my new job. I started my new job in early December, in a completely different role from all my previous positions.
I arrived on my first day wracked with nerves and shell shocked, following a few weeks out of work the early rise was somewhat shocking!
I was over an hour early and had a nervous sit in the car with a coffee and muffin, kept company and buoyed up by messages of support from my lovely twitter friends. Time passed and soon I was being ushered into my boss's room for an induction chat. I was handed a full diary and introduced to numerous new faces and pointed in the direction of my office.
I sat in my office in blind panic thinking 'how on earth did I get here? What am I going to do? What if I can't do the job?'. Time passed and I worked my way through the scheduled meetings and tried to remember all the names and responsibilities. I would still swing to blind panic over my ability to do the job but mostly I thought 'I can do this!'
And do you know what? I CAN do it, I AM doing it and I'm really enjoying it. It is a complete departure from anything that I have done in the past but I feel that I am actually achieving something. For the first time in a long time my work life balance is good, I am satisfied with my work and what I do is worthwhile, people actually benefit from the work that I am putting in.
There is one small fly in the ointment, I am only on a temporary 6 month contract. As a project manager I guess this is quite common once a project is finished then the project manager becomes surplus to requirements. However, my boss seems keen for me to link in with other areas of interest, to move on to, or develope other projects, so hopefully, things going well, I may become a permanent project manager working on different areas of interest. It is lovely and refreshing to feel supported by my manager and to believe that she really does have my best interests at heart and really IS trying to get me a permanent position. I'll keep you posted!
Now I did mention that I was happy with my work life balance and I am. No longer am I lying awake at night with reports and tasks running through my mind. Or returning home late after a torturous drive back from the other side of Scotland to then start my paper work. However, now I find myself with free evenings, long forgotten are the pilates classes, the book group, the 10K training and all the other pursuits I used to devote my time to before I lost myself in my 'career'.
Slowly I shall once again join a book group, find good pilates and aerobics classes and I may even compete in the ladies 10K in May. So here I go in search of my life, wish me luck!
I will of course, keep you posted!
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